Setting a new course, two years ago

  1. “I saw through it” – I saw through it: the road never comes back. It demolishes itself at the point of passage. Once I thought the road was life, now it has been cleared that it was actually the future. Yes, I saw through it, the road is dangerous. Even a blink of hesitation would definitely celebrate one’s own demolition. Life is dangerous, but so is the future. When I saw through it, I have to prepare myself never to come back even in the so many demolitions to come.

 

  1. “Those thoughtful years” – It was only lately that I realized I am now estranged to the life I was. Those years that have been so much thoughtful that only an object of thought is all there is and its experiences that have found perfect illusions to articulate my philosophical fancy – they vanished already in the stillness. I am living another life now, far too distant from the past, but still remained disturbed by its ballyhoo of love. Its object keeps on haunting me in my most vulnerable moments. And I too suffered greatly at the thought of those thoughtful years with that precious object I left behind. Whenever I think of it, I crush the moment hoping that it would leave me. I walk fast, I hiss loudly, and punch the wall just to refuse the sparkling reminiscence. It appears to me so powerfully close that its idea obliterates the present moment. Its body was just so haven-ly flawless. Oh the privation of presence, it makes you miss so much eternity!

 

  1. “From the hermit mountain” – Yes, live like a hermit, because that’s why you’re here – in a mountain of hermits. And you’re going to live here for about ten or twenty or thirty years in order for you to survive the world. You are going to be patient about the bitter loneliness that makes you the craziest. You are going to learn how to be alone, because in the battle against the world you are for the most part an essential embodiment of a primordial unity. Only in this unity can you acknowledge the mountain where you came from, and the hermits living in there too. Yes, a hermit is alone because he wants to be alone, a decisive and brave soul, but only because he knew that in the mountain where he came from and with the other hermits, he acknowledges that they are altogether one! So cry like a lonely man, cry like you are moving on happily, cry your joy, and cry out your emotions – cry like you will bolt heaven with prayers!

 

  1. “On the day I was lost in time” – Proclivities are fractures of supra-proclivities, in short, the earthly of the heavenly. They are factory defects of a more celestial cosmology, like beaming through the humanity that envelops us. But no day was lost when this humanity knows how to reunite itself again in the open field of a supra-humanity, humbly longing to participate in the realm of the divine.

 

  1. “The conscious” – What is there in the awake? How can one possibly digest the whole of reality in every detail there is? The conscious have had a lot of dose of reality. He gets addicted to it, not out of frantic fanaticism or escapism, but out of every ecstatic memory one gets after taking it, because it gets too tough to handle it without a little excitement. Reality is much sweeter, though painful at times, when in its every inch, every moment is lived with joy.

 

  1. “What Fasting Appears like” – To look serious and composed out of the ravages one has set upon one’s self means that one has enabled one’s self to be in the spirit of genuineness: genuine in the mind and genuine at heart. And because out of genuineness one ought to be real, the practices of the spirit too, though they may hide superficially the goal underneath, abide in the cordiality that determines the real person. The self comes out from fragmentary practices until, in the end, and in the series of serious transformations, becomes a whole genuine character that not only sharpened its mind but also strengthened its heart.

 

  1. “Feminism” – it’s really just a false coinage of a term. It has, for a long time, been out there labeled for and with the hope of freeing women for what they really want and they deserve. But even this is false autonomy. I mean sure they got out for some time and did whatever they wanted with their life, without prejudice and fright. But deep down what they really did was to open themselves for more penetration, more enslavement, so that it would appear that it is their choice! And here it is too obvious how the civility in the background played a major role in sustaining this ideology, a deep and chauvinistic and patriarchal ideology!

 

  1. “The model” – The model is a caricature of sacrifice. It represents the perfection one gets after sacrificing too much things for it. Indeed, no one can fully imitate the model, but by the exemplarities it has given to us, and the inspirations it integrated upon ourselves, the idea of the model, and perhaps, the practices too that makes it as much of a sacrificial dictum proves at least our role in modifying it – perhaps even better, or as yet unique than we make of ourselves.

 

  1. “The idea” – it couldn’t be possible, that a single idea can definitely change a whole person. But it is a parasite that slowly kills the essence of an animal, indeed, by the stimuli that it triggers and the formulaic resistances that have communed and embodied themselves in it; an idea can very much relinquish the possibilities of the flesh!

 

So beg the heavens to dawn and shed light upon this noble creature that stands beyond all odds, lingering through and inside all facades of human consciousness, lest it be enthroned upon the heights of humanity itself; let it only be a creature from the human, for by virtue of its nobility in the degrees of sacrificiality, it must remain only so. Let love not intervene, as even the idea of love itself! No one has yet described the causes of its sheer madness. Let not falling in love capture the minds of young people using idea’s own rectitude, for impracticably, its own utilities diminish at an extent of a minute!

 

  1. “Truth?” – We have been very wise in practically assuming our functions in society. We have lived as though we are the guarantors of ourselves. Everything that we have done we claim it as if they are combinations of selves that we have piece-fully, but also peacefully, in their intrinsicality, interwoven together. And every piece provides us with a certain truth – truth that only that very piece can give; in other words, pieces that give different truths. We may not know what these truths are as a whole, but what we do know is that we are at a question where truth does not show itself as a whole but by puzzles. After all, who knows truth except through itself? Every truth is followed by its own puzzle, its own question mark, not because it will never really show itself to us entirely, but because it wants us to be always at awe at the things it slowly shows us. And perhaps, this very slow motion that truth brings can only be revealed piece-fully, in life, if we first yearn for it, yearn for its own peace! Yes, the first truth that we have assumed is our own very slow life. How peacefully has it bore us; how peacefully has it also yearned to take us back? Piece by piece we have become ourselves and have created different other selves in us, and we have become one only through living it, day by day.

 

 

 

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